I do not have snapchat or any form of social media. I'm pretty old school. I'll message you my email if that works. I would love to hear your story and any advice you can send my way though. Thank you for your comments and wisdom.
Thank you for your well thought-out comment. Yeah, I also feel bad for young people just getting started out. I at least have a decade of work experience under my belt, so I have options from experience, but I know kids that are in their teens just starting college and they are so concerned for the future and feel lost. There has definitely been some self-medicating. Nothing has been diagnosed, but I suspect that I suffer from anxiety and perhaps a mild form of depression. I had a pretty fucked-up childhood, and some of my demons have come back to haunt me this year in the form of the family issues I mentioned in my first post. Staying busy definitely helps me feel more okay. This year has consisted of me staring at a screen for hours every day trying to learn online from half-baked video lectures from professors that have never taught online classes before and me hardly working at all. I'm sure that has exacerbated my issues. I'm back to working full time as of yesterday with the local government in my city and as a bartender on the weekends (I know that sounds bad as I have alcohol problems, but I only drink 1-2 drinks at work tops and the money is great). I will continue to make treating my alcohol dependency my first priority however. I think I'll work towards finishing my certs for a redcard and getting into wildland firefighting next summer and continue my current jobs for the time being. Hopefully school goes back to a normal format in the Spring and I can go back, but I refuse to do 4 more online semesters if it doesn't.
I have actually. I'm about halfway to getting all the certs I need for a redcard and think I'll spend the next week figuring out what else I need to get it and then applying for it. Then if classes don't go on campus in the Spring, I'll have more options.
Your comment really hit home. It's hard to admit you have a problem, especially when you grew up in a family of heavy drinkers that teach you to not talk about your problems. I love hearing about others who overcame their obstacles and persevered. Thank you for your kind words.
You're right, this has been such a crazy year and sometimes it feels so overwhelming. One of my conservative friends has just completely stopped checking the news this past year and just focused on hiking, shooting, working out, and elk hunting. He's my happiest friend haha. While I could never completely stop checking the news, he may be onto something.
Thank you. It's hard to see a way forward sometimes when you have obstacles in front of you, but you are right. Life never goes as planned and you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get back up and keep going. I've never been a quitter, I'll get through this one way or another.
I am currently working for local government and as a bartender part-time on the weekends. I know, not great for my alcohol addiction, but the money is fantastic as I live in a thriving college town and usually only have 1 or 2 drinks at work. Without classes, I'll be working 5 days a week which I think will help keep my body and mind busy. I think the combination of stress from the "pandemic", online classes keeping me staring at a computer for hours everyday, and lack of work all led to my depression and drinking issues. I already feel better working the last 2 days in a row with my supportive conservative coworkers. I'm about half way towards my red card certification and may do wildland firefighting next summer to keep busy. I grew up cutting firewood as my main chore to heat the house as I grew up in a rural mountain town. Somehow, I really miss splitting and bucking wood haha.
Hey fellow pede, I'm also about your age, started school later in life. Yes, it's an outpatient program. The first time I drank, I was 13 (very limited adult supervision growing up and a rough childhood). Didn't really drink again until junior and senior year of high school at parties. Never really drank that much except for in social settings until about 3 years ago. Then started drinking a couple beers every night, then it turned into 4 beers every night, and now I'm probably at an average of about 8 beers every night, but not domestic beers, usually high ABV IPAs. I would say it got bad, in my opinion at least, in March at the beginning of all the lock downs. That's when I started to feel like I was out of control and doing high risk things while intoxicated that I later regretted. I do not have to have it to function, but I'm worried that I may get that way, which is why I've started treatment now. I do need it to sleep though, and nights when I don't drink I have horrible insomnia. I do not wake up with the shakes until I have my first drink, although I have found myself having the shakes on a couple of occasions about mid day.
Opiate addict at 14 is wild my dude. How did this happen to you at such a young age if you don't mind me asking? How did you get over your alcohol dependency?
Thank you, you're correct, first I need to take care of my mental health and overall well being. When I withdrew from school yesterday, it did feel like the end of the world, but luckily I've got a stellar GPA and should be able to go back if things get more normal without any issue. Sometimes in the midst of big changes it is hard to realize that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
Routines are very powerful and a new routine would likely help me in my life. My typical routine pre-covid used to mean working from 6-3 and then hiking for several hours and then working on my Jeep. I intend to get back to this because it really was my stride. I really appreciate your thoughtful comment and hope to learn from everyone here, you included. I am not a particularly religious man, but I fully respect everybody's right to practice any religion they see fit. I grew up with agnostic parents, but grow more towards Christianity through the years. Have Jewish heritage, but more identify with Christian values.