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Jackpotsevens 2 points ago +2 / -0

I'm old enough to remember when the cdc lowered the testing cycles right after the xiden inauguration

1
Jackpotsevens 1 point ago +1 / -0

Johnson: [Noticing Dr. Evil's spaceship on radar] Colonel, you better have a look at this radar. Colonel: What is it, son? Johnson: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant-- Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick: Yeah? Jet Pilot: Take a look out of starboard. Dick: Oh my God, it looks like a huge-- Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker. Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where? Bird-Watching Woman: Wait, that's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's-- Army Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with-- Baseball Umpire: Two balls. [looking up from game] Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous-- Chinese Teacher: Wang, pay attention! Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying-- Musician: Willie. Willie Nelson: Yeah? Musician: What's that? Willie Nelson: [squints] Well, that looks like a giant-- Colonel: Johnson?! Johnson: Yes, sir? Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this. Later, as Dr. Evil is escaping: Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil? Johnson: No, sir. He got away in that rocket that looks like a huge-- Schoolteacher: Penis. The male reproductive organ. Otherwise known as tallywhacker, schlong or-- Dad: Weiner? Any of you kids want another weiner? Son: Dad? What's that? points at rocket Dad: I don't know, son, but it's got great big-- Peanut seller: Nuts! Hot salty nuts! Who wants some-- Lord Almighty! Woman: That looks just like my husband's-- Ringmaster: One-eyed monster! Step right up and see the One-Eyed Monster! One-eyed Monster: jumps out and scares crowd, then points to the rocket Hey, what's that? It looks like a big-- female Fan: Woody! Woody Harrelson? Can I have an autograph? Woody Harrelson: Sure thing. [Sees rocket] Oh my lord. Female fan: It's big! Woody: Nah, I've seen bigger, it's-- Dr. Evil: (To Mini-Me) Just a little prick. It's a flu shot. You've been in the coldness of space.

5
Jackpotsevens 5 points ago +5 / -0

Johnson: [Noticing Dr. Evil's spaceship on radar] Colonel, you better have a look at this radar. Colonel: What is it, son? Johnson: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant-- Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick: Yeah? Jet Pilot: Take a look out of starboard. Dick: Oh my God, it looks like a huge-- Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker. Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where? Bird-Watching Woman: Wait, that's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's-- Army Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with-- Baseball Umpire: Two balls. [looking up from game] Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous-- Chinese Teacher: Wang, pay attention! Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying-- Musician: Willie. Willie Nelson: Yeah? Musician: What's that? Willie Nelson: [squints] Well, that looks like a giant-- Colonel: Johnson?! Johnson: Yes, sir? Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this. Later, as Dr. Evil is escaping: Basil: Did we get Dr. Evil? Johnson: No, sir. He got away in that rocket that looks like a huge-- Schoolteacher: Penis. The male reproductive organ. Otherwise known as tallywhacker, schlong or-- Dad: Weiner? Any of you kids want another weiner? Son: Dad? What's that? points at rocket Dad: I don't know, son, but it's got great big-- Peanut seller: Nuts! Hot salty nuts! Who wants some-- Lord Almighty! Woman: That looks just like my husband's-- Ringmaster: One-eyed monster! Step right up and see the One-Eyed Monster! One-eyed Monster: jumps out and scares crowd, then points to the rocket Hey, what's that? It looks like a big-- female Fan: Woody! Woody Harrelson? Can I have an autograph? Woody Harrelson: Sure thing. [Sees rocket] Oh my lord. Female fan: It's big! Woody: Nah, I've seen bigger, it's-- Dr. Evil: (To Mini-Me) Just a little prick. It's a flu shot. You've been in the coldness of space.

2
Jackpotsevens 2 points ago +2 / -0

Xe is on the cusp of realizing the truth but srill won't accept the reality of the situation

1
Jackpotsevens 1 point ago +1 / -0

TIL canceling free speech is upholding the first ammendment.

0
Jackpotsevens 0 points ago +1 / -1

There are only 7 states younger than Idaho, so meme checks out.

2
Jackpotsevens 2 points ago +2 / -0

I probably have but haven't logged in in over 6 months so idk.

2
Jackpotsevens 2 points ago +2 / -0

Because there were 40,000 more total votes cast for governor than there were for the other state wide elections that year, and he "won" by.... wait for it, 40k votes.

3
Jackpotsevens 3 points ago +3 / -0

Didn't know dominion machines did that

2
Jackpotsevens 2 points ago +2 / -0

Imagine being in the SS and half your job is spent protecting hiding children being molested from by the president when the cameras are rolling.

1
Jackpotsevens 1 point ago +1 / -0

But you'll spend 1000 times that .16 getting to the store

1
Jackpotsevens 1 point ago +1 / -0

Translation: crime was up 534% in Apr but in June it's only up 512% so crime is on the decline.

(Disclaimer: actual crime stats may vary because I made up these numbers for illustrative purposes.)

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Jackpotsevens 3 points ago +3 / -0

Boys N the Hood, starring Mel Gibson, Brad Pitt, Pierce Brosnan, & Michelle Phifer.

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