Luke 16:19-26 is one reference that Catholics use for purgatory. As far as the saints go, all believers are saints, but Catholics take it a step further and canonize those whose special deeds deserve sainthood. Think Mother Teresa. In the confessional, we are actually confessing to God through the priest. I know that might sound weird, but it is what we believe. A lot of Catholic traditions are misunderstood, but our traditions are our core of our faith.
If it's embroidery, use something hard like a baseball, put it on the front. Then carefully take a razor to the threads on the back while holding the material against the baseball. Once the threads become loose just pull them out. Pence gone.
Is that a brick in his pants?