5
JiubUnbound 5 points ago +5 / -0

"Joe, do you know how much a candy bar costs?"
"About a hundred dollars."

5
JiubUnbound 5 points ago +13 / -8

CIA: "Put these on your website and social media. Say you were hacked."
New York Post: "Right away, Boss!"

3
JiubUnbound 3 points ago +3 / -0

Biden Women: *photo of a graveyard*

7
JiubUnbound 7 points ago +7 / -0

A shot across the bow.
"Yeah, we're gonna do this at some point. What're you gonna do about it?"

6
JiubUnbound 6 points ago +6 / -0

Worse than that. Mr. Tuttle was naughty online, but since the administering system is a rats' nest of third world code, Mr. Buttle instead finds his finances restricted. Upon protesting this mistake - after spending half of a day waiting in line, filling out paperwork, and being shunted between offices - Mr. Buttle finds himself further penalized. The System makes no mistakes. A person with good Social Credit would know this.

1
JiubUnbound 1 point ago +1 / -0

Ah, I see the Pan-Pacific Co-Prosperity Orgy hosted by the Obamas is starting early this year.

7
JiubUnbound 7 points ago +7 / -0

This show sucks. I can't believe they canceled Pandemic! for this crap. With a budget in the hundreds of billions, you'd figure they could afford better special effects, costuming, or somewhat competent writing. Instead, they flushed it all down the drain for terrible casting, retarded cameos, and the lamest Y7 action scenes I've ever seen. They were selling it like it'd be this mature, gritty thriller, with equal parts political intrigue and bloodshed, but it's less violent and politically complex than the GI Joe cartoon was.

Next week's episode was already leaked, and it'll feature Zelensky, Lizzo, and Black Spider-Man twerking as an enraged Adolf Putin shatters his telescreen with a thrown remote and clenches a fist skyward as he vows revenge.

2/10 - casting Sam Hyde as the Ghost of Keev/the Irish Candyman was the only good choice made in this production.

2
JiubUnbound 2 points ago +2 / -0

Somewhere in this Amogus is a hidden Stonetoss.

5
JiubUnbound 5 points ago +5 / -0

"Put '*wink*' in Biden's speech after the bit about denying our sabotage of the pipeline."
"But he's physically unable to wink and he'll just read it aloud."
"I know. No one'll do anything about it. Next speech, have him say we did it without correcting himself."
"You're having too much fun with this, aren't you?"
"No. It stopped being fun years ago. It's just sad at this point."

1
JiubUnbound 1 point ago +2 / -1

"I bathe myself with a rag on a stick." - Lizzo, probably
*applause, flash photography*

3
JiubUnbound 3 points ago +3 / -0

She appears to be the latest humiliation creation from one of the regime's bioweapons labs.

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