1
LiteraIIyHitIer 1 point ago +1 / -0

Clowns hate mimes.

See the documentary Shakes the Clown for further details.

3
LiteraIIyHitIer 3 points ago +3 / -0

If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today

He'd be gunned down cold by the CIA

2
LiteraIIyHitIer 2 points ago +2 / -0

Putting things in context is white supremacy, or misogyny, o-or something!

1
LiteraIIyHitIer 1 point ago +1 / -0

🎶Oh, I'd rather have a bottle in front o' me

Than haveta have a frontal lobotomy🎶

1
LiteraIIyHitIer 1 point ago +1 / -0

Elon touched my doodle.

1
LiteraIIyHitIer 1 point ago +1 / -0

The pedo triangle spiral pointing to where the MAPs go is a nice touch.

6
LiteraIIyHitIer 6 points ago +6 / -0

Looks like we've got ourselves a biologist here...

12
LiteraIIyHitIer 12 points ago +12 / -0

Flaccid Snake

Fake Plisskin

1
LiteraIIyHitIer 1 point ago +1 / -0

Three Steins and a Zoller - coming this Fall on NBC!

Who nose what shenanigans they'll get up to?!

4
LiteraIIyHitIer 4 points ago +4 / -0

Here's a great example:

Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly

He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye

He waited his whole damn life to take that flight

And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice..."

And isn't it ironic... don't you think?

No, it isn't. The man was afraid to fly and with good reason, his plane crashed just as he expected it would. No irony.

Now, if Mr. Play-It-Safe here were to decide to drive to his destination, while also still being afraid to fly, and a plane crashed into his car, killing him, that would be ironic.

8
LiteraIIyHitIer 8 points ago +8 / -0

Fun fact: Pizza Hut, KFC and Taco Bell are all owned by the same parent company, Yum! Brands.

view more: Next ›