Trump says mean things and is a maga-lomaniac narcissistic raving asshole, and there is nothing worse than being an asshole. We need a politically correct pandering pushover phony in the White House to restore dignity to the office of POTUS.

I guess I'll vote for someone who is by my own metrics orders of magnitude worse than Trump, because their outward delivery is more palatable to phonies. I'm simply a colossal hypocrite with a reputation to maintain.

I fixate on what a bumbling buffoon orange asshole Trump is, but I am throwing my support behind a man with actual signs of severe dementia. I hate old white men, so I'm voting for an older, whiter, man. Like I said - I'm a total hypocrite.

I absolutely hate establishment politicians, that's why I'm voting for a guy who has spent longer than I've been on this Earth as an establishment politician, who only made it to POTUS nominee because he was appointed by the establishment.

I'm voting for Sleepy Joe aka Joe Crow even though he's a less than ideal candidate; at least he's not TRUMP. Hell, I'd literally vote for Satan or some bum off the street, rather than vote for OrangeManBad.

Trump isnt even my President because I live in another country, but I spend every day bitching about him online while totally ignoring the iniquities of my own country. Since I can't vote in US elections, being a subversive hostile foreign agitant will have to suffice.

As a non-American, I know far more about living in America, American history, American politics, than any of you dumb Americans. I hate America all day long, I would be better off if they hadnt liberated my country from tyranny twice and protected me for the last >75 years.

Americans are imperialist occupiers, how dare they be in our lands. Americans are finally leaving our lands? How dare they turn their backs on us!

I completely ignore what's obvious to critical thinkers and instead blame everything in the world I dont like on one all-encompassing boogieman because I'm intellectually lazy and emotionally fragile.

I hate myself, my race, my culture, my country, my civilization, my history, so I aide and abet my existential enemies and blame my misery on Trump, he has fanned the flames of those who already hated themselves and wanted an excuse to act out!

I consider myself an enlightened open-minded thinker, yet I support my oppressors and shame and isolate anyone who goes against herd mentality induced by daily consumption of conformist deep-state NWO propaganda.

I believe absolutely anything and everything peddled to me by mainstream propaganda outlets because the global elite cabal and the rich have my best interest, and the best interest of all humanity in mind.

I criticize America constantly as the most corrupt nation in the history of the world, but I have absolute confidence in mail-in voting, because I know any fraud will be against Trump, and thats why I repeatedly claim HE's the one attempting massive voting fraud.

I am a weak-minded coward who is ruled by fear, so the more hyperbolic and preposterous the accusation against Trump, the more I am able to find solidarity with ever-increasing masses of other cowards whose minds have been overthrown by Trump Derangement Syndrome.

I rely on luciferian political tactics, particularly blaming my adversaries of exactly what my political interests are guilty of. I support corruption when it aides my political interests, while I blame it on my adversaries, one of the oldest tricks in the book.

I bought Russiagate and all the other manufactured "gates" hook-line-and-sinker not because they were ever anything but ongoing coup d'etat attempts and deflections from exactly what the false accusers had themselves perpetrated, but because it was HER TURN!

I want a homogenized collectivist dystopia where everyone has to be miserable together under actual tyranny, which would be far preferable to people either succeeding or failing based on their own merits or lack thereof, living under the best political system yet devised by human beings.

I am a self-declared male feminist who ridicules, mocks, and bullies any female who dares to espouse an opinion I dont agree with or doesnt fit the archetypes I have pre-determined for what is acceptable feminist personal identity. I'm a crypto-misogynist masquerading as a male feminist. My only chance to get into a woman's panties is by subscribing to feminism and pretending to be a "nice guy" even though I'm a loser creep with almost zero experience with women, and I label any man who IS experienced and successful with women as a sexist macho jock douchebag. This is the real reason I cannot stand Donald Trump, he bangs supermodels and hookers.

I rely on buzzwords and hashtag trends to tell me what I should care about, because I have no ethical or moral foundation of my own. Trump bashing has been the greatest gift ever to my need to pretend to be morally superior!

I have my sociopolitical priorities and worldview completely out of whack; I fixate on petty minutia while ignoring the 800Lb Gorillas and Elephants in the room. That is why I vote against my own interests.

I believe that one set of heavily biased stereotypes should be combated with an opposing set of heavily biased stereotypes, while I ignore the great bulk of people who fit somewhere in between, or shame them for not taking part in my battle of extremist ideologies.

I believe that everyone is equal, but I celebrate the worst by any metric, while I condemn the best. I believe that since everyone is equal, we should have different sets of rules for different groups of people.

I believe that nature's laws and the natural order are outdated societal norms and patriarchal oppression which must be overthrown and replaced with everything that is against the natural order.

I believe that Science is whatever the corrupt "experts" say at a given moment even though it constantly changes and contradictory propaganda is peddled simultaneously.

I believe that facts are irrelevant if my feelings do not like them.

I prefer to be lied to with a smile rather than have the truth shouted at me.

I love changing the meaning of words so that I can undermine common sense.

I love taking things out of context so I can pretend that my self-righteous manufactured outrage is valid.

I love anarchy, mayhem, and violence, but I hate law and order, especially since Trump supports it.

I thought myself a peace-loving hippie, but since Trump hasnt started any wars, I now support NeoCons and Hawks and I am absolutely livid we havent gotten any new wars so that I can validate my stance that Trump is literally Hitler!

I'm an environmentalist but leftist insurrectionist arsonists setting wildfires all across the United States was necessary because the general public grew tired of race riots.

I'm an environmentalist but I ignore the fact that China is by far the worst offender both in pollution and consumption, because Trump is hard on China, and anything Trump does I'm automatically diametrically opposed to. It's almost like I have no mind of my own!

Trump is a racist xenophobic white supremacist bigot for closing the border, but he didnt close the border fast enough and so all COVID deaths are HIS FAULT!

I'm absolutely stuck on outdated political paradigms that were last relevant sometime in the 1990s and I continue to view US politics through the false D/R dichotomy peddled to me by the establishment, because I cant accept the idea of anyone thinking for themselves.