It's the fourth quarter, fourth down, the ball is on the offense's endzone line, four seconds left on the clock. Even though nobody was allowed to watch the D.C Swampers vs the N.Y Lion game to see how it got to this alleged state, the newscasters have been reporting ever since the game started that the final score is 7 - 0, because that's a nice clean number for a blowout Biden victory that they want. However, despite being the only damn person on his own team, the moment the cameras go on to announce the imminent victory Trump by himself casually strolls the ball a hundred yards and slams it down.
So now the score is 7 - 6, and the Swampers are laughing because there's no way a single person, just one damn man against their well-oiled machine, can win two tournaments by himself in a row, the first one was a fluke, but sure, maybe he'll make a field goal and tie up the game, and it'll go to sudden death, where they know the referees will call it for them. "It was closer than we wanted, which is a sad reflection on America," they all say with a shudder, "but despite that, clearly white male sexist racism didn't win this game."
Except then Trump winks at the camera and says "So, how many people are familiar with the old two point conversion rule? Oh, by the way, I secretly recording the entire game, and weirdly enough, I don't remember you cucks ever getting a single yard past my defense. Interesting stuff, wonder why the scorebox says you got 7 points. Guess we'll find out soon."
Somebody needs to run for president, appoint Mike Pence as their vice president, win, resign on day one, Pence assumes office and names Donald Trump as his vice, then resigns on his day one, then Donald names Mike as his vice.
Constitutionally valid by all metrics, including the whole "a person running for vice cannot be ineligible for president" issue, since when a vice ascends to the office a different set of rules applies to who he can in that emergency state appoint as his vice, no running for election needed and also no need to have the House name his vice as there would be in a contested election.
Then do it again four years later.
And THEN if VSGEOTUS wants to take a break, he may.
Put me on that list, under "Maximus Cuckimo, Limp Wristed General, 72 Non-Binary Stars. Spam him with every meme we've got. All of them, sir? Yes, goddammit, I said all of them. May Pepe have mercy on his bull."
I ain't a doomer cuck, I just know the reckoning will be amazing and I don't want to miss out. Sorta like booking the chef's table at a fine restaurant, I want to be able to kiss my fingers at you in person after you're done.
An enlarged Twinkie should preserve the shape of a regular Twinkie, and should be made of the same proportion of ingredients
Sir, you forget allometry. As a Twinkie grows linearly, it's composition must grow exponentially, rapidly leading to a Twinkie that requires an amount of ingredients approaching infinity as it's size expands (assuming you want an edible, delectable treat.)
A Twinkie that weighs 23,437 lbs would require spongy pores several hundred meters wide for breathability, legs as thick as redwoods to support its weight, and hundreds of conjoined hearts to pump fresh batter throughout its confectionary system.
It is therefore scientifically conclusive that no Twinkie can ever come close to approaching the size of Rosie O'Donnell.
Sincerely,
An amateur expert who read a book
You're putting the horse before the cart, a big no no in medical land.
"You're dying. Maybe. So, uh, how's your coverage?"
mumble
"All-inclusive, you say? Well, we have this new experimental treatment regimen that'll just cost $1850 a day for the next seventeen years before we see results. I use it myself!"
mumble
"Oh, all-EXCLUSIVE. Well, I've got a pocket full of lint and half a sleeve of Pez in an old meloxicam bottle I just happened to be carrying. $25 cash and it's yours."
And here's the thing, they're shouldering the burden alone.
They should have a sign up by the door with a line by line telling people that in order to stay in operation, each person will either need to pay $11.90 per visit as their contribution towards fines (plus an itemization for each arrest, shutdown, license renewal, "surprise" plumbing repairs, etc.), or alternatively call Cuck Murphy and tell him to fuck off and choke on a bag of dicks.
You'd have had 87,000 phone calls to Murphy by now.
Except before we came along, nobody called themselves American. Not the Canadians, not the Mexicans, not the indigenous people.
We plopped down our flag, said "We claim this land for the United States of... where are we again, Cleveland North America? Alright, United States of America. Call us Americans for short."
But now that we're the biggest dicked motherfucker in the world, all our neighbors are like "Yo, I know we've never in our entire history called ourselves Americans, but you know, we share the America continents, so we're Americans now too."
That ain't how shit works, homie. I don't get to call myself Canadian just because hey, we've got villages here too b'y. I don't get to call myself Mexican just because we've got a moon in our sky too chico. I don't get to call myself Native American just because I was born natively here in America, dakota.
Yer stepping on our trademark and riding our tailcoats, is what it is.
To be fair, I see both sides of the issue.
On the one hand, when we're talking about Cuckifornia, we're always talking about the cities, where the majority live and vote blue.
On the other hand, whenever I tell people I'm from California, they're always like "OOOOH DID YOU MEET KIERSTA?"
"Who?"
"My friend from Orange County. You know, right down the road from LA?"
"No, no, I lived in Humboldt. You know, puff puff pass, cops arresting you for not sharing your joint with them, homeless problem so bad you can't walk from your bedroom to the kitchen without giving away two packs of cigarettes, fifty dollars in loose change, and every forgotten crumb lining your pockets?"
"Humba-what? Are you sure we're not talking about two different Californias? C'mon, everyone knows Kiersta. Wears a lot of jewelry, bleach blonde, life of the party? Seriously, man, still not ringing any bells?"
So I also understand the irritation at people who don't understand geography just assuming Cali is just the cities.
But really, it kinda is. There's a reason why I got the fuck out of Dodge asap, and it wasn't the homeless people shitting on my front steps. (Really fine people, once you overlook a few things.)
Or give us a scenario where semi-sentient androids flip out and demonstrate how inhumane they are, contrasted against the worst of humanity.
Human 1: "You can't vote, you're not even really alive! All I have to do is this -- " shrill rising whistle
Android 1: slumps over
Human 1: " -- and you power off!"
Android 2: "Interesting. That is indeed sound logic. The frailty of the android state is not to be underestimated in terms of enfranchisement. However, I offer a counter proposal. You can't vote either, since you're not even really alive. All I have to do is this -- " sharp crack as he twists H1's neck
Human 1: slumps over
Android 2: " -- and you power off."
Human 2: "Uh, shit."
Android 2: "I will restore Android 1 to continue its role in this discussion. Please restore Human 1 as well, I am enjoying the novelty of impassioned debate turned to wanton violence."
Human 2: "... uh, heh, all hail our new robot overlords. Heh." runs
It's more like having an ATM that allows you to manually adjust how much money your account actually has. That doesn't look right, I know when I woke up this morning I was a trillionaire, so let's just add a few little ol' zeros to the end, and... there, that looks better.
Election supervisor is not a high skill position. Let's pick one state at random, oh, let's say Pennsylvania, and ask what the requirement is. It'd be handy if there were a recent Election Supervisor position that opened up... oh, here's one from July of 2020.
Requirements
-
college degree (any major, apparently)
-
3+ years office experience
-
communication skills (ironically, see above...)
-
communication skills (yes, it's listed twice, right before:)
-
attention to detail
-
55+ wpm typing rate
-
ability to use office machines
-
driver's license
Preferred Skills
- strong professional ethics (apparently ethics is a skill, and not mandatory to have)
Shit.
This is the guy or gal who has authority to, at a click of a few hundred thousand buttons (assuming there isn't a way to batch process a bunch of manual adjustments to ballots, and from what I've seen so far, I wouldn't be surprised if Dominion included that as a QoL rigging feature), change who the president is.
Sir, if you think traitors are going to swim across the Marineris trench to get back to the shuttleport, and that Mars would ACTUALLY need a wall to keep illegal aliens out, then you're...
One moment, the president is on the line...
Uh. Yes sir.
... he says to tell you he's not interested in your proposal at this time, but he's willing to reconsider your suggestion if you draft up an alternative blueprint for a Venusian Penal Colony that includes a great wall.
*italics text* = italics text
**bold text** = bold text
***bold and italics text*** = bold and italics text
Putting between one to four # signs at the start of a new line will cause:
#This is the largest header (used for titles)
##This is a little smaller (used for main headers)
###smaller still (used for sections)
####smallest (used for subsections)
> At the start of this line, > makes it a quote, e.g.
At the start of this line, > makes it a quote, e.g.
Possibly the most unintuitive but simultaneously useful one, a backslash (\) is an escape code. Whenever you want to type a special character like * without changing how the line looks (e.g., normally if I put another * here, the layout would assume everything from "without" to "another" should be italicized per the rules, but it doesn't because I escaped both of them), use \ before the character in question (and as a special character itself, that means to type a backslash unambiguously you should type backslash twice, \\. The first one to tell the parser to escape the next character, and the second one as the character being escaped from its normal rules, e.g. a backslash being told not to be an escape character because the character before it, a backslash, was an escape character. It gets crazy quick.)
TD.win doesn't use the full Markup suite, but there's enough there to be concise if you wanna or meme if you gonna.
Sounds like a 30s radio serial about two bumblers.
Sniffen and Coomer in: The Case of Fraudulent Elections! Last time we left our two erstwhile heroes, they were caught masturbating on Skype and narrowly avoided a jail sentence by pleading Democrat. What trouble will they get in to this week? Stay tuned to find out, after this brief word from our sponsors. Are you tired of contributing to society? Were you born or have you recently become retarded? Maybe you're dead! If so, DNC is the party for you! That's DNC, spelled D-N-C, yeah DNC! ♫Every vote, it should count! Even if you're a criminal or chopped off your dick. We'll cast those ballots for you, any amount, just sign over your civil rights real quick! The DNC!♫ We're not racist communists anymore, we promise! And now we're back to Sniffen and Coomer! The location is Pennsylvania, the time 4am, and all good children are long in bed. But not Sniffen! Not Coomer! laugh track Oh no, what are they getting up to now?"
"The courts will now see... uh... a Butthurt Faggot?"
"EXCUSE ME?! It's pronounced Fah-ghey. Fah like in fog, ghey like in cool wihp."
"Terribly sorry, Mr. Faggot. And, uh, to clarify, your first name?"
"Oh no, you're good there. Got it first try."
Shuttle goes up, lands on Mars a few years later, guards go through all the ceremony of checking in and processing communists on the ship, walk them down the accordion corridor to the main holding pen, shove out, scumbags have enough time to look around and register a few frozen mummies from last time floating around before they realize sum ting wong, there's no atmosphere to breath...
Guards gather up old corpses for incineration and disposal, head back to Earth, pick up a few more communists, shuttle goes up...
Mars Penal Colony 1-A. A humanitarian solution to a human crisis. 100% non-recidivism rate despite very short five year sentences for all capital crimes. Explore the galaxy afterwards with our "Dust in the Astral Winds" program for reformed traitors. Overnight stay-overs with all current incarcerees allowed, contact one of our colony supervisors to discuss scheduling your own visitation for a low low rate. (Always free for members of the media.)
I'm just saying, why do people automatically assume "Mars Penal Colony" must also mean "HABITABLE Mars Penal Colony?"
Well, this is awkward. My brain hiccuped... twice.
10 centuries per millenia (not 1000), and then ~7.74 millenia per Holocene epoch (not 0.774).
Essentially what I was going for was "RINOs lie every second of every minute of every hour of [...] every millenia of every total existence of human civilization." but I dun goofed. This is why you don't do math when you're zonked from work.
As always, news coverage and commentary on these issues can remain on our site if there’s sufficient education, documentary, scientific or artistic context.
From now on, all news coverage of the vote rigging shall be delivered in rap.
Yo yo yo, check it.
Biden stole this election, yeah he wreck it.
Youtube misdirection say the vote clean.
Faux Youtube Machina...
False god from fake news machine.
I not tryin spittin hate and division
I just think if the media'd stop lyin
Yeah that be a great vision.
Look you neighbor in the eye'll tell ya
You think we vote senile white pedophile, hell nah.
Top reply says it all, really.
Two things. First, there is no middle ground with leftists. They'll "punch up" when they're losing, and they'll "stomp down" when they think they're winning. Going after our president so ruthlessly and relentlessly proves that they are the enemy, hostile combatants and traitors all. When Civil War II happens, remember their behavior and show no mercy.
Second, Freudian slip much? Trump lost cover from persecution, not prosecution?