Buy land. They’ve stopped making it.
Loser #1: Oh no! It’s the Based Pillow Merchant!
Loser #2: Incoming!
<A volley of incoming soft, luxurious pillows lands amongst the communists and antifa morons.>
Loser #3: Look out!
Loser #4, obviously upset: What are we going to do with all of these premium, made-in-America pillows??
Mike Lindell: What’s the matter? I thought you communists and shills loved FREE STUFF!
<Another round of unbelievable pillows, believe me, lands amongst the stinky, dirty crowd causing them to disperse.>
Mike Lindell tucks his crisp, starched shirt back into his pants and returns to his truck, knowing that the battle is over but the war has just begun.
Mike Lindell: I have to deliver these pillows or the citizens of <town name> won’t get a good night’s sleep!
Opening scene. Evening in the suburbs. A tall, muscular man with windswept hair and a determined jaw is busily moving packages around the back of his truck. A group of friendly kids approaches.
Neighborhood children: Hey Mr. Lindell! Whatcha up to?
Mike Lindell: Hey kids! I have to deliver these pillows or the citizens of <town name> won’t get a good night’s sleep!
Neighborhood child #1: Benjamin Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
Neighborhood child #2: Your pillows sure are the best, Mr. Lindell.
Neighborhood child #3: What’s that sound over there?
Neighborhood child #4: It looks like Antifa thugs and Communists!
Mike Lindell: Run along home, kids. I’ll handle this. <Rips off shirt to reveal totally jacked and ripped physique. Soundtrack strains of AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL are heard.>
Gang of Communists and Losers approaches. Zoom in on Lindell’s face.
Mike Lindell, gritting his teeth: I have to deliver these pillows or the citizens of <town name> won’t get a good night’s sleep!
I’d watch that movie!
Or you’ll turn into a pillar of salt
#WALKAWAY
Hey that rhymes.
#RESIST
It's a PANDEMIC OF PEACE, shitlord!
The notion that an election can not be disrupted by fraud has been fact checked by debunkers who confirmed that they have checked the debunked facts. Let me be perfectly clear.
Washington Post fact-checkers have checked the Washington Post’s facts and concluded that the Washington Post’s facts have been checked by the Washington Post.
This is a total scam, the likes of which hasn’t been seen maybe ever before. You take a look at Pennsylvania, you take a look at Arizona, you look at Wisconsin - and by the way these are very important states that have been badly hurt by the Democrats - and you’re going to tell me they voted by the millions for Sleepy Joe? I don’t think so. I don’t think so. There’s a name for this. It’s called fraud and it’s very ugly. We’re going to win these states and many, many more. That I can tell you.
Holy shit. The Wisconsin ballots came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at The Badger State and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of its hand. The ballots started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on them. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to the 200% of registered voters but I'm literally in shock from the results on Election Day yesterday today this week. I feel like I'm going to explode. Where the fucking fuck are these only-voted-for-President-and-no-other-office ballots coming from? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is going to sell out to China. I want a future to believe in. I want totally open borders, no fracking, energy dependence on the Middle East, and the Green New Deal. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, Cocaine Mitch and faggot Lindsey Graham got re-elected???? This is so fucked.
Some people screeched something
Obama was a traitor. He still is but he used to be, too.
WE NEED COMMON SENSE DEMENTIA CONTROLS
Listen, foot.
Trump literally brokered THREE PEACE DEALS IN THE MIDDLE EAST. No mention on CNN.
NO MERCY TO TERRORISTS YOU DUMB BASTARDS
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/325999319515791360?s=20
plagiarized
Joe Biden's first presidential run in 1988 cratered amid multiple instances of plagiarism
https://www.businessinsider.com/plagiarism-scandal-joe-biden-first-presidential-run-1988-2019-3
The modern Santa Claus was a communist concept intended to sow discord in the West.
He redistributes wealth.
He is dressed in red.
Has a beard like Karl Marx.
Knows all about your behavior patterns (naughty vs nice, sleeping vs awake) using means and mechanism you’re not allowed to know about.
Has immortal God-like qualities.
We disrupt the Western-prescribed nuclear family structure
That is a direct quote from BLM’s website under the heading “What We Believe”
See for yourself: https://blacklivesmatter.com/what-we-believe/
“Think of how stupid the average person is... and realize half of them are stupider than that.” - George Carlin
Four memes and seven shitposts ago, our forepepes brought forth a new T_D, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all Americans are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether our nation, or any nation besieged by leftists and globalists, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their imaginary internet points that that nation might live.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—these memes. The world will little note, nor long remember what we post here, but it can never forget what Harambe, Seth Rich, and other victims of the Clinton body count did for us. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Once again the sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.