Dissociate God from your politics, God is not on a side
Acknowledge what you have been listening to was first a game, and then became a failed experiment. There is no basis and there never has been.
That said, your emotions, challenges and motivations are valid. Channel them into something positive in the normal way. Vote, get involved, learn. Otherwise be relegated to being nothing.
Accept you have been radicalized, and research what this means, and how to reverse it without surrendering the reason you get involved.
Never, ever again pledge your freedom to a false prophet. Or anyone. Think.
If you were there and breached, determine your strategy and find a lawyer. You are on your own.