There will be drowsy hairless pizza to devour there (I just got a shipment of those beanie babies too.) Plenty of 7-9 year olds in the hot tub to be excited about. Be sure to bring your MAP related handkerchief to the pizza party so we can play dominos on them during the spirit cooking.
Also, if you find anything about this suspicious: let me remind you that no alt right conspiracy theorists are welcome!
If I was dictator Xi and Americans owed me 20 trillion dollars- I would simply siphon off the debt to American politicians to influence them. Xi easily could say: “OK Mr Biden. Americans owe me 20 trillion. Do as I say and I’ll toss you 1 trillion in those IOUs.”
And it seems by the Hunter Laptop Biden at least already has. Who else?
When people lose faith in the economy, they put money into crypto like bitcoin. It jumped up around 4x when the lockdowns hit. Day after Biden was declared winner (yesterday) it’s already up 12%.
Joe: Yeah I’m a racist.
Voter: No you’re not
Joe: Black people are all the same. They are all predators who belong in jail.
Voter: You don’t mean that.
Joe: I wrote the prison bill didn’t I? It’s unfortunate segregation didn’t work. Now we got some kind of racial jungle going on.
Voter: Whatever. Can you believe conspiracy theorists are saying you are inappropriate with minors?
Joe: That was my son. I only was on cam sniffing them and groping them.
Voter: WHAT? WHEN?
Joe: Oh shit... the media hid that? Dope.
Voter: What about your son?
Joe: Uhm.... oh yeah. Alt right conspiracy theory...?
Voter: I know, right? But what’s that whole thing with Ukraine about?
Biden: Mark my words- I bribed Ukraine with 1 billion dollars to fire my sons prosecutor.
Voter: Ok that’s kind of messed up.
Biden: I don’t give a shit you fat -. You don’t even have to vote for me. Vote for the other guy. We have a voter fraud team. Just stand with me when they call it out.
Voter: I mean why?
Biden: Trump is a racist and caused covid and I will cure it and save your grandmas life.
Voter:
*Googles “Trump is a racist and caused covid and Biden will cure it and save your grandmas life.” Finds Snopes which shows this claim to be true. Goes out to protest Trump, gets hit by a car. It’s ruled a covid death.
Voter:
Votes for Biden.
If I were a liberal I would gas up the pumps And rig in real time, without the vote dumps If I were a liberal- the vaccine is clean! No side effects anywhere to be seen. It would cure the disease which I would concede Came from the our allies, the wonderful Chinese If I were a liberal I would sing to the skies That Hunter Biden’s laptop is a big bunch of lies I’d claim prison reform was the plan of the man Who left us an economy, Orange man slammed
But though I am a liberal and to lie is my niche, if I go too far, people wake up and snitch
So I stick to the basics: Orange man bad. He’s racist and evil and is killing granddad.
So as I good liberal I say this is true: Just save grandma and vote blue no matter who.
