I hear Steven Crowder has a bunch of useless addresses you can use

Who are the pawns now?!

That hand signal ! Aaahh!

Do you remember all the text in the sticker?

It will start as “temporary,” only to store vaccine status.

But then it will expand to health info, financial info, facebook accounts, paypal accounts, location GPS, SIM card.

It’s a central location of your identity. Lose the card and you’ve lost your identity. Leave the card at home and you can’t participate in anything.

Code does not “glitch.” It does exactly as instructed

Cuomo showed up looking for physical Grammys to escort back to the nursing homes.

Candice Ownes mocking Cardi B: "Joe Biden wanna tawk to me cuz I got the numbuh one sawng in the UK!"

Are we disclosing away our political preferences when we get the shot?

At that point, they’ll inject the rest of us with tap water from Flint, MI.

Start printing post-dated Biden ballots now.

Using Winnie-the-pooh colors on WA/OR/CA not gone unnoticed

The new instructions make it clear that you are not allowed to laugh at any combination of parts you come up with.

I found this year's Christmas wrapping paper!

"My fellow Americans, you know the thing. Good night!"

My company pays me to handle an on-call rotation. When things don't get handled, my company pages my ass.

I view the SCOTUS sitting around reading the newspaper all day. Pager goes off, and they go, "Nah...."

What do they do all day?

Thanks, I missed it. I tend to avoid reading tabloids while in at the grocery

Thank you for the explanation

I have a legitimate question:

I thought "scoops" referred to the number of Justices that Trump appointed. And I thought that number was three. But I have regularly seen that number switch to two. (Your username jogged my memory.)

Has something changed in the definition of "scoop?"

(wacky inflatable arm-flailing tube man) "And we pass the savings onto youuuuuuu!"

“I sell propane and propane accessories”

Just like Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire, "46*" deserves an asterisk for performance enhancement.

I hope the Emmy's "Disciplinary Committee" finds out about this!

Start wearing pointless masks: yarn, Halloween, paper bag, pantyhose.

But, but, but Biden is a devout Catholic!